What You Think Of Me Is None Of My Business
So, why do I believe this statement is true?
Our nervous system is constantly working to maintain balance. We have a protective internal system, called the polyvagal system. It automatically functions without our conscious thought once we perceive danger. When this happens, cortisol and adrenaline are released, triggering our fight,
flight, or freeze response.
In the past, this response was triggered only by physical danger, like when cavemen and women faced threats. However, now, it can be triggered by any indication that our self-concept or self-image is in danger.
When our autonomic system is functioning optimally, we feel balanced and content. But when it goes offline, we may experience anger, anxiety, shutdown, or shame.
Let’s consider an example. Imagine you need to call your neighbors. How would you feel about it? Your response depends on your comfort level with them. If you’re fond of them, you might be excited about contacting them.
But if you dislike your neighbor or have a resistance to interacting with them, you might cringe internally or put it off for now. Our automatic or autonomic nervous system is being triggered, the we feel anxious, angry, or shut down.
This demonstrates how our internal system acts and reacts. Now, imagine how your neighbors might respond to you calling them. Their internal system may activate a flight, fight, or freeze response to hear from you.
They can only act in line with whether their system detects danger or they feel calm.
We all seek comfort and calm for our nervous systems. Our actions are in response to our autonomic nervous system’s perceptions, and we do this to keep ourselves out of danger.
Your reaction may vary depending on your day or how stressed you are feeling at the moment.
So, back to the purpose of writing this blog. It’s about not taking things personally.
Next time you have a negative or positive reaction to someone, recognize that it’s your reaction. Take responsibility for it. My suggestion: Own it!